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Help with attempted Translation
11-06-2014, 07:06 AM
Post: #1
Help with attempted Translation
Anyone who hasn't already seen this on the Facebook Group:
Friends,

I don't think this is quite right. I'd appreciate comments or corrections.
The Viking Prayer from "The 13th Warrior" moved me enough that I memorized it:
Lo there do I see my Father.
Lo there do I see my Mother and my Sisters and my Brothers.
Lo there do I see the Line of My People, back to the beginning.
Lo they do call to me.
They bid me take my place among them, in the Halls of Valhala where the Brave may live forever.

My attempt at a toki pona translation:

o mi lukin mama mije mi li lon
o mi lukin mama mile mi e meli sama mi e meje sama mi li lon
o mi lukin li linja pi mama mi e tenpo pini mute e monsi li kin
o ona mute li toki mi
ona li toka: kama li sina e toma tawa e tomo Valhalla. jan wawa li moli ala e tenpo awen

No perfect word for "There". I settled on "lon".
'kulupu mi' would be a possible substitute for "mama mi".
"Back to the beginning" was problematic—as you can probably tell.
I don't believe I've ever heard the toki pona for "Hall".
I cobbled "a room to go (through)".
Again, my rendition of "Where the Brave may live Forever" seems a bit pakala.

Thanks.

Sakon Wiolen

"Cowards Theorize with the Goal of Staying Alive Firmly in Mind." From "The Hagakure"
"That Has to be a Flying Saucer. I Don't Believe in Aeroplanes." Just Me
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11-06-2014, 12:09 PM
Post: #2
RE: Help with attempted Translation
Here is an improved version after an online Friend helped.

a mi lukin e mama mije mi li lon ni
a mi lukin e mama mile mi e meli sama mi e me meje sama mi li lon ni.
a mi lukin e linja pi tawa open pi jan mi
a ona mute li toki mi
ona ali li toki e ni tawa mi: o kama tawa lon sina pi lon tomo Wawala. tenpo ali tenpo jan wawa li awen lon tomo ni.

Sakon Wiolen

"Cowards Theorize with the Goal of Staying Alive Firmly in Mind." From "The Hagakure"
"That Has to be a Flying Saucer. I Don't Believe in Aeroplanes." Just Me
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